AddThis Social Bookmark Button
02
Nov
2010
Empty Orchestra E-mail
City Life - Blogs & Columns
Written by Mary Higgins
For the sake of re-living horrible memories, I was trying to remember the absolute worst thing that has ever happened to me in China. There are a lot of things that happened *around* me, like: 1. Taking a train from Beijing to Guangzhou in 1993 when our train killed some peasant, threw his mangled body off the tracks and kept on going. 2. Watching a man bathe in manhole in Guangzhou in 1995. 3. Riding in a taxi in Shanghai in 1997.

Our taxi’s side mirror caught the handle bar of a hugging motorcyclist and we carried him a half a kilometer before the taxi driver noticed, despite my screaming. The taxi driver then hit the brakes and sent the motorist flying. We gently carried on to our destination. 4. Watching a man (yes, this is actually true) chew on a condom in the airport in Wuhan in 1998.

I still am baffled to this to today. I suppose the list could go on and on, but like I said, these are things that have only happened *around* me. What’s happened *to* me?

A couple of things come to mind:

1. I got in a fist fight with a taxi driver in 1997 in Shanghai. He was about half my size and certainly knew he was no match, but when I refused to pay him for taking me on the “scenic route” to my destination that cost 20 RMB than it should have, he went into fist-a-cuffs mode. It didn’t take long before he realized he was not only not getting his money, he was also getting his ass kicked.

2. I got sick in a cab ride in Qingdao in 1999 and end up vomiting all over the taxi. Okay, I suppose that is more about what happened to the taxi driver than me.

3. I tried to do some business in 1996 in Qinhuangdao and ended up in the Chinese prison of banquets. Everything was so disgusting that I had to lie and say how much I loved eating shrimp (which I hate). They then fed me 3 plates of shrimp.

4. Fresh off the boat in Beijing in 1991, I went to the Xiao Mai Bu at my school. I asked for soap. The lady said “Meiyou”. I said “It’s right behind you”. She said “meiyou”. I said “It’s right there, right behind you. I can see it.” She said “meiyou”. For a newbie to China, this was the worst experience ever.

The one that tops the list for me though was on a business trip to Qingdao in 1998. Flying in from Dalian, I was put in touch with a “contact” from a “friend”. I should’ve just declined the offer of introduction. But I thought at the time it would make it easier to navigate business. This “contact” picked me and my business partner up from the airport in his Audi. Riding in class - nice! Then he took us to the hotel that he “owned”. I’m not sure if he really owned it or not, but everyone there seemed to kowtow to his presence, so we were with some kind of royalty. It was getting late, around 10:30pm and we just wanted to have a quick bite to eat, take a shower and hit the hay. Our host would have none of that.

First came the 17 course banquet. All I can say about that is: “Shandong sure does have big mantou!”. Next he brought out an assortment of petroleum for us to drink, which he referred to as “alcohol”. I really, really had to work at declining this, claiming that I was allergic and that it would actually kill me. He acquiesced, but didn’t let us off that easily. It was then that he brought out the big guns.

Karaoke.

For the next 4 hours, he ended up mangling every Mando-pop song out there, even delving into some garbled Canto-pop, Edelweiss and Country Roads. An assortment of young girls sat with him, touching his thigh as he made his magical music. He forced us into singing songs we didn’t know and clapped the whole time. No one was spared. With his trusty chauffer, he then made us all take part in singing Zhen Xin Ying Xiong. I got to play the Jacky Chan vocals.

I had to call it quits after that one, knowing that I had ruined any chance to do business with the guy. But a person’s got to have some values they won’t compromise.

Our valuable Editor Mary Higgins has been with us since Tuesday, 24 November 2009.

Show Other Articles Of This Author

Do you have a story to share? Do you want to be a ND Author? Send your own story, write about family, friends, life in Xi'an, business, real estate, education, travel, entertainment, write a review, suggest a column and more! In any language! Please include at least one picture about your story if possible, your name, email address, blog-/web-address, so we can give you credit. Go ahead, click here: Submit your Story now and we will publish it and list you as a ND contributor! Alternatively you can send us your story to: xianstories@newdynasty.com.cn

Add comment


Security code
Refresh

More Articles in this Category

Latest Articles in Blogs & Columns

NEW DYNASTY TV - Xi'an Reports, Interviews and Movies

ND TV - Premier Web TV Reports, Interviews, Movies about Expats and Locals in Xi'an/China! This is UNIQUE in Xi'an!

ND proudly presents: Xi'an Models Volume 1

Xi'an Models

Advertisement

RECOMMENDED LINKS  
MANGO - Women's Collection
HaoHao - China Stories
Silk Road International (SRI)

Watch Great Movies Online - Right here on ND - For Free!

Watch Great Movies Online - Right here on ND - For Free!

New Dynasty Comics


We want you! - 加入我们!

We're currently looking for some down to earth people who can spare a little time each week to write about anything related to Xi'an and China, who are eager to share stories, news, insight info and be a part of the most sophisticated and fastest growing Digital Magazine in Xi'an. Whether you're young or old, we'd like to hear from you. Click for more info.

Editorials

Xi'an goes digital
To all readers, subscribers, friends: Welcome to Xi'ans most sophisticated, multilingual digital magazine. We are excited to offer you from today on, 15. June 2009, a new and superior kind of publication in Xi'an and a refreshing new concept. Of course, as with any technology-related... Click here to read the full story!

Skype ND!

Skype ND!

Featured Website

¡XABOO! is a brand new interactive Community Platform for Locals and Expatriates in Xi'an (China).¡XABOO! is an interactive Community Platform for Locals and Expatriates in Xi'an. Click here & register now!

Editor Team

We have a team that works on the articles presented on ND. Please contact us if  you are interested in helping us out with the creation of articles or researching information in Xi'an. Contact:  info@newdynasty.com.cn

Post translation

ND has readers from all over the world and in several languages. If you translate one of our articles please let us know so we can add a link at the original article! Your site and name will be posted as well. Thanks!

Restaurants

article thumbnail Tuscany Restaurant

We are a family owned restaurant and take pride in everything we do. From the fine ingredients we use to the wines we carry, you...

ND Digital Magazine Xi'an - Subscribe now!

ND Digital Magazine Sample  Cover
*Sample Image

Hotels

article thumbnail Grand Noble Xi'an

The hotel has 428 well-appointed guestrooms and suites, a full range of dining, recreational and conference facilities. ...

ND on your Mobile Phone Browser - Coming soon

ND Mobile v1.0 is online! Browse ND's eMag with your mobile device by typing the address m.newdynasty.com.cn in the browser of your device or be auto-redirected to our mobile site by typing newdynasty.com.cn. You can read our articles, watch ND TV and more even better in the future with your iphone, android etc. Stay tuned. Click here for more Info or here if you want to report a bug.